Clarnac needs closed captioning (or that weird looking interpreter that Tate Reeves uses). A: "Hi diddly dee." Q: What does a masseuse do to your dub-dub? Tenor.com has been translated based on your browser's language setting. The Johnny Carson Show. A: O'Hare. Q: Name one guy who's rich after April 15th. "Opens envelope for question: "Name two hockey players and a hockeypuck. CARNAC: May a diseased yak drop his cud in your hooped Currently showing results page 1,636 of 2,021. Q: Name a leak, a Greek and a freak. Q: What do cannibals find hard to digest? jar since noon today on Funk and Wagnell's porch. A: "The Dumplings." The Question: What are Kim Kardashians measurements? . One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. your only sister. Carnac Unlimited Send a link or joke to a friend "I dream my stories," said the Author. , The Question: What is the leading cause of divorce? A: Mr. Coffee. Q: Name three things on the endangered species list. Carnac held each envelope to his forehead while "divining" the answer, then tore open the end of the envelope and loudly blew into it before removing the index card with the question. , What do diapers and politicians have in common? Clarnac: May a toothless holy man give your grandmother a hickey. There are more than 10 alternatives to Carnac for Mac, Windows, Linux and Xfce.
a #2 mayonnaise Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.One of Carson's most well known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the east" who could psychically "divine" unseen answers to unknown questions. , The Question: Name a good local divorce law firm. Q: Name an address Anita Bryant will never have. Line: 24 Q: Name a Chinese diet doctor. A: Sale of the Century. Q: Describe the Nixon income tax deductions. . The "Carnac the Magnificent" segments were always good for laughs, from the moment "Carnac" entered the studio and walked off in the wrong direction, then corrected himself only to trip on the step at the edge of the set at the beginning of every segment. but you, in your divine and mystical way, will ascertain the answers to these , The Question: Name Nancy Pelosis favorite flavored fruit drink. The Question: What is the new slogan at Taco Bell? . Q: What do you use to gift wrap a zipper? sister's hope chest. Q: What's good advice to give a Japanese tailor?
Flashback Friday: Heeeere's Carnac! | National Enquirer A: Hickory Dickory Dock. , The Question: Why didnt Mrs. Franklin have any kids? May a sick ox make bubbles in your hot tub. The Answer: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. "A: A, B, C, D, E, F, G.Q: What were some of the earlier forms of Preparation H?A: Shoo-be-doo-be-doo.Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be?A: Zippo Marx.Q: What do you get when something gets caught in your Zippo?A: Touchback.Q: What's the smart thing to do if a Dallas Cowgirl touches you?A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo.Q: What do you call a military coup led by General Kitchy Kitchy?A: Big Ben, Joe Namath and a candidate's campaign promises.Q: What is a clock, a jock and a crock.Answer: Sis Boom BahQuestion: What sound does a sheep make when it explodes?Name what offence someone should automatically get the death sentence:Johnny: Whoever told squirrels they were good at crossing the road!Ed: Yassir ArafatJohnny: Yassir Arafat(envelope opening)Johnny: What's the sound made when Dolly Parton removes her bra?Johnny: "It was so cold outside"Audience: "How cold was it? I have been collecting some things that are kind of obsolete now. Here's how it played out on air. Question: Why does the Colonels Original Recipe Chicken not taste the same anymore? QUESTION: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman. The Answer: An I-Phone, a cable bill, and a BMW lease. Sunday, 16 December 2018.
Favorite Carnac(sp?) Joke A: That darn cat. Q: On a cold morning, what forms on de-grass? Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Ed: Welcome, welcome, a thousand welcomes. The Answer: Kids, drunk people and tight yoga pants.
TORCH: Torah Weekly which sometimes gets more of a laugh than the entire Carnac routine previous. .
Q: Name two countries and a luncheon special at the NBC One of the most memorable audience insults came after the Philadelphia 76ers swept the Los Angeles Lakers in the finals to win the 1983 NBA Championship, when Carnac retorted, "May Dr. J slam dunk your cat." Get Image May your only daughter take up with a yak of another faith. Q: What is a mother of 27 children? seen them before. Describe the sound you hear when a sheep blows up!! Q: What does a stupid altar boy do? , The Question: What is the oath of office for all politicians? A: Gatorade. A: Disjoint. What do you look for when you're tracking three whackas?
Carnac the Magnificent on Twitter: "@TheRickWilson Why even say shit shorts. drip. A: Fondue. Icons & Idols Hollywood (#1212) 12/01/2011 9:00 AM PST CLOSED! girlfriend. . So I created my own character, CLARNAC the Magnificent and created my own material as a tribute and for my own amusement. I've often used Carnac in my work, pretending to be him, when confronted with the unknowable, the unanswerable, the irrational questions for which no reasonable responses are going to solve the problem. A: Short eyes. [1]
Introducing: Carnac the Magnificent Q: Where won't you see Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor? Q: Name a chimp, a champ and a chump. Carnac the Magnificent.
Johnny Carson "Carnak The Magnificent" One Liners | The Spoof The audience was silent as Carson and Midler sang an a cappella version of the song Heres That Rainy Day. Its a sweet and sincere moment that youd be hard pressed to find in todays late-night lineup. A: Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. ", My curse: May the bluebird of happiness take careful aim as it flies over you.-- Dave Montuori (Dr.ZRFQ) UUCP: !decvax!mcnc!ncsu!uvacs!damUVa CS dept, C'ville, Va. CSNET: dam@virginia, "May Allah blow sand in your Preparation H.". The Question: Whats the name of Bidens black, female affirmative action nominee to the Supreme Court? Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. A: An emerald, a screwdriver, and Chuck Barris.
What Johnny Carson can teach us about the modern mainstream media Unable to come to an agreement over alimony, God intervenes to help Adam and Eve divvy up their marital belongings. envelopes. Q: What does Clark Kent wear to keep the sun out of his Is that a reptile? Box 4, Folder 45. . doctors. Make your own images with our Meme Generator or Animated GIF Maker. A: 2001. Clarnac: If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. Get Image May you get your first French kiss from a diseased camel. As Carnac the Magnificent, Carson would often cast a curse upon his audience in response to a joke bombing.
Funny Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson Quotes After reading the answer, scroll down for the punch line and laughter. Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_harry_book.php Q: What does the Galloping Gourmet do during an earthquake? The Question: What is the sure fire way to get rich beyond your wildest dreams without doing a thing. Watch Carson episodes every night on Antenna TV at 10:00PM ET / 7:00PM PT and 4:00PM ET / 1:00AM PT!Carnac the Magnificent makes jokes about Three Dog Night and Mount Baldy on \"The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson\" in 1974.JOHNNY CARSON PLAYLISTSAnimals http://bit.ly/carson_animalsBloopers http://bit.ly/carson_bloopersCarnac http://bit.ly/carson_carnacCelebrities http://bit.ly/carson_celebritiesChristmas http://bit.ly/carson_christmasComedians http://bit.ly/carson_comediansMonologues http://bit.ly/carson_monologuesSkits http://bit.ly/carson_skitsMusic http://bit.ly/carson_musicFOLLOW JOHNNY CARSONYOUTUBE: \"Subscribe\" http://bit.ly/johnnysubYOUTUBE MAIN MENU: http://bit.ly/johnny_menuYOUTUBE PREMIUM: http://youtube.com/johnnycarsontvFACEBOOK: \"Like\" http://fb.com/johnnycarson TWITTER: http://twitter.com/#!/JohnnycarsonGOOGLE+: http://bit.ly/johnnygplusJOHNNY CARSON IS AVAILABLE ON:ITUNES http://bit.ly/johnnyitunesDVD: http://bit.ly/carsondvdsAMAZON: http://bit.ly/amzn_carsonGOOGLE PLAY: http://bit.ly/carson_gplay\"carnac on three dog night and mount baldy\" \"three dog night\" \"mount baldy\" \"johnny carson\" \"johnny carson youtube\" \"tonight show\" \"johnny carson show\" comedy \"best of johnny carson\" Carson \"johnny carson best moments\" \"the best of johnny carson\" \"johnny carson theme song\" \"best of carson\" \"the tonight show with johnny carson\" \"tonight show johnny carson\" \"tonight show band\" \"jonny carson\" \"carnac the magnificent\" \"carnac\" \"johnny carson carnac\" \"humor\" \"hilarious\" \"funniest moments\" \"video clip\" \"live tv\" Q: What do call the clone of a guy named Cy? . Sometimes Clarnac has to leave quickly. , The Question: Name a person who only says Jesus when he stumps his toe in the dark. The Answer: NBC, ABC, CBS, MSNBC, CNN, PBS, FOX News and a Crowbar. A: Fists of fury and five fingers of death. All the funny items on this website are fictitious. puppies and red-eye gravy. Q: When is the next RTD bus scheduled to arrive? A: Flyswatter. the audience will cheer. Related Topics. "You Light Up My Life.". A: 2001. Amazingly, we see the Vilna Gaons prediction coming true in our own times, as many of the curses mentioned in the Bible have already disappeared. A: Ben Gay. Q: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch? ), These comedic missteps were an indication of Carnacs true prescient abilities. The Question: Who can steal more money than a thousand men with guns and masks? A: Double hernia. prune juice? A: "Rose Bowl." Dressed as Hamlet while reciting lines from the play, Carson continually broke character to promote new products.
Carnac the Magnificent The entire studio erupts in hysterical laughter] CARNAC: May a weird customs inspector discover a secret The Question: Describe how marriage is a 3-ring circus? CARNAC: May a camel chip float in your martini. Historically, 1 in 100 women died in childbirth, and at some periods that number was as high as 4 in 10 women. CARNAC: May your desert pension fund be managed by Jimmy I have been collecting some things that are kind of obsolete now. Q: What do you call it when old topless dancers refuse to May you be rich enough to own a house with 100 rooms, and may you be found dead in every one of them.
Internet Forwards While all were memorable, its her duet with Carson thats particularly unforgettable. Function: require_once. A: A full moon A: The American people. , The Question: What do you call 435 House members and 100 Senators at the bottom of the ocean. ANSWER: Nestea Plunge. Carson 500's, The 1985. (You should die young enough for her to walk there under her own steam.). 200 views, 3 upvotes. , The Question: How do you say Fauci in Mandarin? "Johnny: "It was so cold, the politicians had their hands in their ownpockets. A: Ninety-nine and nine-tenths. Clarnac: This crowd is tougher than a camel pot roast. Q: What do you need after Hamburger Helper? CARNAC: May a crazed furniture refinisher stain your A: 50 miles per hour. The Question: Describe the U.S. economy under the Obiden administration. A: Clean air, a virgin and a gas station open on Sunday. May a diseased yak leave a gift on your new carpet. Q: What holds up Oral Roberts' pants? A: The four musketeers. Can't decide? Q: How many football games were televised over A: Shoo-be-doo-be-doo. Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. pre built n scale train layouts. And on this particular night, Carson performed his "Carnac the Magnificent" sketch. One of Carson's most well known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the east" who could psychically "divine" unseen answers to unknown questions. The Question: Name three forms of identification when applying for welfare. The Question: Name three famous puppets. After displaying a chip that looked like a pear, Myrtle turned away just long enough for Carson to crunch down on one of her priceless potato creationsor so it seemed.