No neonatal care, no daycare, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. George Carlin - Government doesn't care about you - YouTube Try spelling Evian backward. If You're Preschool, You're F*cked': Read George Carlin's Epic 1996 Rant Against Anti-Abortion Conservatives . Hes all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just cant handle money! George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dreambecause you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, Religion is like a pair of shoes..Find one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. George Carlin, He and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly. George Carlin, I do this real moron thing, and its called thinking. ", 20. "How can [God] be perfect? The people are fucked. George Carlin, Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. George Carlin may be dead, but his spirit lives on. Where did George Carlin fit on the political spectrum? : r/Standup - reddit It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. he was a conservative. Dumb ass motherfuckers., The real owners, the big, wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. "Forget the politicians. They dont want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. A cookie set by YouTube to measure bandwidth that determines whether the user gets the new or old player interface. But once the child is born? It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. Elect me. Put the blame where it belongs: on the people. "If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? ", 8. ", 40. The Bachelorette's Angie Kent and Carlin Sterritt have been on holiday together in Vietnam the past week and sharing lots of glamorous selfies. ", 98. The challenge is to find it. George Carlin, What if there were no hypothetical questions? George Carlin, The planet is fine. PayPal sets this cookie to enable secure transactions through PayPal. "People are wonderful one at a time. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. These George Carlin funny quotes on religion, government, and stupid people will make you laugh as well as think about things deeply. God has a three-day weekend. ", 89. "War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class men off to die. What if I want to have a crappy day? Obedience, respect for authority. "Governments don't want well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking. Carlin, who was known for spewing critical rhetoric against the government, organized religion and big business, first delivered the quote during his 2005 HBO comedy special, Life Is Worth Losing. - George Carlin. Below are some famous quotes and jokes by the man, the myth, the legend, the comedian George Carlin. The v1st cookie is set by TripAdvisor to collect details about how visitors use the website, by displaying user reviews, awards and information received on the TripAdvisor community. RT @JamesMelville: "They own everythingThey don't care about youThey got you by the balls." ~ George Carlin He absolutely nailed it. When you see the documentary, you'll see this, but the evolution of Carlin wasn't just . He was a regular on the "Ed Sullivan Show," but in the 1970s he became much better known for his irreverent . Photo: Matthias Clamer (modified by author) Source: Getty Images One-liner jokes. Carlins truth-telling about the influence of corporations in America and the willful blindness that allowed someone like Trump to assume power. I had an imaginary friend. I have major psychotic f**king hatreds. ", 55. Board Messages . And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shittier jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it, and not theyre coming for your Social Security money. You don't. You have no choice. People are stupid because, well, people are stupid. Maybe something else sucks around here like, the public. 2005 George Carlin bit narrates ad on 2020 American reality - Fast Company And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. George Carlin, Men are from Earth; women are from Earth. Jesse Kelly wanted to whip his followers into homophobic outrage, but it sure AF didnt work. You have owners. Germany lost the Second World War. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. ""The owners of this country know the truth: It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. - Gin Wigmore. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. You don't. You have no choice! AddThis sets this cookie to enable the visitors to share the web pages on social platforms via sharing buttons on the website. This cookie is set by Segment to track visitor usage and events within the website. "Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? He was 71 years old. Carlin passed away in 2008 before he could see the prescience of his comedic wit and intelligence with the rise of Republican Donald Trump's candidacy this year. 21 George Carlin Quotes On Government And Politics After that, they don't want to know about you. Term limits aint going to do any good; youre just going to end up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. They never mention that part to us, do they? (LogOut/ "'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Scorecard Research sets this cookie for browser behaviour research. This cookie is used for implementing audio files on the website. The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional". ", 34. Next, honor thy father and mother. ", 120. This cookie store anonymous user idnetifier to determine whether a visitor had visited before, or if its a new visit. George Carlin was right: Donald Trump is America - Salon My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. "People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think. ", 68. ", 106. And nobody seems to notice, nobody seems to care. 'They dont want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. You think your current financial. "One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. You have owners. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. Casale Media sets this cookie to collect information on user behavior, for targeted advertising. Theres a nice campaign slogan for somebody: The Public Sucks. Everybody's . They believe a womans primary role is to function as a broodmare for the state.. By clicking Accept, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. This cookie can only be read from the domain they are set on and will not track any data while browsing through other sites. George Carlin Quotes On . Daniel Kurtzman is a political journalist turned satirist. Prof Thuggy aka Professor Thug 32K views 1. If youre preborn, youre fine; if youre preschool, youre fucked. ", 5. To me, war is a lot of prick-waving! But dont participate; it will be your death. 27 Feb 2023 13:57:17 Everybody complains about politicians. "Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. ", 115. They should be giving their money to you. ", 84. "Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist. Transcribed part of speech begins at 10.33 13 May 1999, National Press Club, Washington DC, USA This is an incomplete transcript made by Raven Developers . Could it be that I do is the longest sentence? George Carlin, If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isnt the whole airplane made out of that stuff? If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f**ked." ", 119. In his 1996 HBO special Back in Town, the late comic legend and social critic George Carlin nailed the hypocrisy of social conservatives who rail against abortion and birth control with "pro-life" rhetoric while simultaneously attacking social . The sp_t cookie is set by Spotify to implement audio content from Spotify on the website and also registers information on user interaction related to the audio content. ""Boy, these conservatives are really something, aren't they? They've long since bought and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the statehouses, the city halls. George Carlin: Dumb Americans (2006) - Full Transcript "I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. His beliefs in fairness and equality in. You know what the motto for this country ought to be? George Carlin They Don't Give a Fu@k About You - YouTube "Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. That's about as close as you could get to pegging him as any party affiliation. That's the problem. "Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. This cookie is set by Akamai. ", 41. This cookie is set by the provider Akamai Bot Manager. 50+ hilarious Cowboy jokes that will make your day: quotes, sayings The _omappvs cookie, used in conjunction with the _omappvp cookies, is used to determine if the visitor has visited the website before, or if it is a new visitor. ", 6. YouTube sets this cookie to store the video preferences of the user using embedded YouTube video. ", 96. No nothing. "I don't believe anything the government tells me.". "In America, anyone can become president. George Denis Patrick Carlin was born on May 12, 1937, was an American stand-up comedian, actor, social critic, and author. The _ga cookie, installed by Google Analytics, calculates visitor, session and campaign data and also keeps track of site usage for the site's analytics report. That doesnt help them. ", 112. They don't pass through a membrane from another reality. Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window), Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window). This cookie is native to PHP applications. The test_cookie is set by doubleclick.net and is used to determine if the user's browser supports cookies. I, on the other hand, who did not vote -- who did not even leave the house on Election Day -- am in no way responsible for what these politicians have done and have every right to complain about the mess that you created.". That's against their interests. This cookie allows the website to identify a user and provide enhanced functionality and personalisation. ", 32. They don't care about you at all -- at all -- at all. "I have certain rules I live by. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. On June 24, 2022, the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade and ended a women's constitutional right to an abortion in the country. We're so self-important. If youre offended by foul language dont watch this f**king video. They don't want to hear from you . Individualists. Change), You are commenting using your Facebook account. I mean, life is tough. 60 George Carlin Quotes to Help You Find Humor in Life - Quote Ambition Carlin did this better than anyone else. The Strange Afterlife of George Carlin - The New York Times 44. It will not be with jack-boots. . A 2018 survey by the Pew Research Center reports that less than half the country says elected officials care what . ", 6. This cookie is installed by Google Analytics. In the clip, Carlin says the pro-life movement isnt pro-life at all. "The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. This is the best we can do, folks. This cookie is used for email services. Im tired of this shit. George Carlin, Never argue with an idiot. Trump did not fall to Earth from. You don't say that about cats. You ever notice that? Known for his lack of patience for bullshit, the comedian regularly skewered all politicians, the election of Donald Trump as president. Everything He ever makes dies. A unique user identifier cookie, set by Microsoft Application Insights software, that enables counting of the number of users accessing the application over time. ", 10. As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money. Quote by George Carlin: "Now, there's one thing you might have noticed This cookie is set by the provider Mixcloud. ", 9. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. ", 64. Maybe something else sucks around here like, the public. Who's winning the culture war? | caucus99percent RT @JamesMelville: "They own everythingThey don't care about youThey got you by the balls." ~ George Carlin He absolutely nailed it. George Carlin on the American Dream (with transcript) The _omappvp cookie is set to distinguish new and returning users and is used in conjunction with _omappvs cookie. Some of the data that are collected include the number of visitors, their source, and the pages they visit anonymously. And they all vote. ", 76. "Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white, and blue dick thats being jammed up their assholes every day, because the owners of this country know the truth: Its call the Amercian Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it., RIP George Carlin. Theyve long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. "If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? "Laugh often, long and loud. You don't. You have no choice. This cookie supports the website's live support provider. of American cultural paradoxes.. Good honest hard-working people continue these are the people of modest means Continue to elect these rich cocksuckers who dont give a fuck about you. And generally speaking, people onthe right of center, are interested in property values, property, property rights. #AmericaWakeUp pic.twitter.com/vy2zz0j8DB, Mrs. Krassenstein (@HKrassenstein) July 26, 2020. He also suggests that politicians are merely the puppets bringing big businesses plans and ideas to fruition. What are George Carlin's political leanings? - Quora They own everything. Two decades later, the anti-abortion movement hasn't really changed. - Doc Holliday. Let's start with critical race theory. The late great stand-up, actor and occasional philosopher George Carlin was known to cross the lines of what polite society would call good taste, but he himself drew a few lines when it came. ", 27. Whenever some boomer try's to lecture you about how their first job in the 60s they only made $3 an hour, just remember, $3 in 1969 had the equivalent buying power as $25.01 today. ""If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. ", 26. Theyre all in favor of the unborn. "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. "Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. When it comes to mass shootings, the problem isnt Republicans or the NRA. They dont care about you at all. The domain of this cookie is owned byOracle Eloqua. And I would say, 'I'm not playin', Ma. "When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' Petras said shes glad the industry is finally catching on to her talent. They don't fall out of the sky. ", 11. Set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin, this cookie is used to record the user consent for the cookies in the "Advertisement" category . The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. A group of slave owners who wanted to be free! "'Bipartisan' usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. On July 26, a 2-minute video created by Pattern Integrity Films was published on YouTube, and it quickly took off via social media. Whitney Webb on the Globalist Overlords Meeting in Davos In the footage from his 1996 HBO special, Back In Town, Carlin tears into the pro-life movement: Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to 9 months. George Carlin may be dead, but his spirit lives on. May 12, 1937 June 22, 2008. Ice Cube added the brief caption, "Facts.". September 12, 2019. George Carlin : And I'll guarantee you one thing: you start executing, you start nailing one white banker per week to a big wooden cross on national TV, you're gonna see that drug traffic begin to slow down pretty fucking quick. "Politicians are there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. "Would a fly without wings be called a walk? I think I was probably a cowboy in a past life. They own and control the corporations. ", 90. Carlin is usually spot on. We havent tried that for a while. Enter your email address below then click "FOLLOW" to receive email notifications of new posts. LinkedIn sets the lidc cookie to facilitate data center selection. - George Carlin. George Carlin - It's A BIG Club & You Ain't In It! - YouTube ", 9. January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. No neonatal care, no daycare, no Head Start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. No nothing. ", 30. 15 years 6 months 5 days 3 hours 12 minutes, 15 years 6 months 5 days 3 hours 5 minutes, 15 years 6 months 5 days 1 hour 16 minutes. "Im completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. RIP George Carlin. ", 86. They got you by the balls. "Never argue with an idiot. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. George Carlin, I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimers disease where they slowly began to recover other peoples lost memories. George Carlin, When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. ", 82. George Carlin: Back in Town (1996) - George Carlin as Self - IMDb They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying. ""I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. Honestly, I'd lean towards anarchist. Did George Carlin have the best comedy routine on every political ", 74. They dont want to hear from you. George Carlin, Meow means woof in cat. George Carlin, When youre born you get a ticket to the freak show. If you vote, and you elect dishonest, incompetent politicians, and they get into office and screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. You dont have to be a historian or a political scientist to see the bigger-dick foreign policy at work. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. They own all the important land. "The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. "Atheism is a non-prophet organization. The stand up comic was an artist who did more than articulate the public's subconscious; he. George Carlin's rant about who owns politicians is haunting Donald It's a Big Club, and You Ain't in It: George Carlin as Social and "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. Its because volunteers work for no pay. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. July 18, 1999 - George Carlin - 2002-02-01 - VOA Broadly speaking. 42. This is a consent cookie set by Dailymotion to store the CCPA consent string (mandatory information about an end-user being or not being a California consumer and exercising or not exercising its statutory right). 3. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? ", 59. It doesn't matter what side you're on. Thats the problem. I think I need to show them that I have brought myself to a cleverer, smarter spot than they have.". So they killed a lot of white English people in order to continue owning their black African people, so they could wipe out the rest of the red Indian people, in order to move west and steal the rest of the land from the brown Mexican people, giving them a place to take off and drop their nuclear weapons on the yellow Japanese people. ", 17. -George Carlin There you are. These Politicians Don't Care About You At All - Medium Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. I firmly believe that if you vote, you have no right to complain. ", 33. The ad-id cookie is provided by Amazon Advertising for tallying user actions by tracking ad clicks on other websites, to provide targeted content. ", 92. ", 16. "You show me a lazy p***k who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to p**s, and I'll show you a guy who's not causing any trouble. Then youre just what theyre looking for. Change), You are commenting using your Twitter account. You voted them in. ", 48. It also helps in fraud preventions. Then you're just what they're looking for. Now one of his most famous routines has swept the internet a dozen years after his death. Politicians don't care about you. This cookie is associated with Yahoo Search Analytics and is used for advertising purposes. "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. Related: When it comes to mass shootings, the problem isnt Republicans or the NRA. Here is one I would suggest: 'Alcohol will turn you into the same a**hole your father was. The demdex cookie, set under the domain demdex.net, is used by Adobe Audience Manager to help identify a unique visitor across domains. Am I right? You only get to hear cats. Quote by George Carlin: "But there's a reason. There - Goodreads They dont pass through a membrane from another reality.
Aries Man Virgo Woman Famous Couples, Land For Sale In Costa Rica By Owner, Royal Marine Light Infantry: Chatham Division, Worthing Herald Obituaries 2021, Articles G